Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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