we have officially lost it.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
