How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just threw up on my dentist
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize