My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
