R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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