i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize