i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
