nutella sex= disaster
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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