I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
