Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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