So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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