do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
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Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just want to make out with him forever
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The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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