So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
