i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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