"it" just moved
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
