I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
