well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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