I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
