you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
A+ Viking dick
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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