Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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