i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.