Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
soo... how was my night?
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