Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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