Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Drunk is not a location!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
