You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
