Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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