peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
