Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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