some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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