How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
