We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
