Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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