I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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