I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
