who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
BRING THE BAGELS
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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