I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
