Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
