I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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