the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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