If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize