Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
