I hope mine doesn't look like that
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
