he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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