Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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