Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
