I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
