Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
