Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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