I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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