She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
