Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
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My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
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He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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