He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You pole danced in your parka.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
