SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
