Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
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I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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