Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
