That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize