When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
