Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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