Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
