Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
im on a boat
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