I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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