My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
